Tuesday March 30,2010

There is always so much to say and never enough time to write it. Did you know I'm typing with one hand right now? I sometimes feel like I'm learning to type all over again.

Today was Brent's first day of work. It was my first day at home with the baby "by myself" - only I wasn't by myself at all. Penny drove Anaya and I to town to Anaya's Cranial Sacral Appt with Laurie and after that we had to stop by the hospital because Anaya literally sneezed the feeding tube right out of her nose! Dr. Fitzimmons helped to put a new tube in and away we went. Anaya was tube-free for 3 hours or so. I'm sure it must have felt nice.

Anaya has been comfort nursing a little bit everyday now. She did choke a wee bit at one point today but she was ok. She likes to suckle and almost always falls asleep within 5 minutes of nursing.

The feeling of a babe at the breast is one of comfort and warm fuzzies. Imagine your favorite teddy bear hugging you back as a child. I'm not certain if that's a good comparison for everyone but I really loved my teddy bear. Feeding a baby from your body is amazing and natural and wonderful and exhausting all at the same time. I wish she could breast feed and manage without the tube. That is our goal at this point. I think that she is learning a bit everyday about how to manage coordination of her swallow and breathing. I promised her that one of these days we'll take that stupid tube out and we won't put it back in.

Watching the Dr. insert a tube up your baby's nose, down their throat and into the stomach is heart wrenching. She cries, gags, sneezes and flails about. My heart does little flip flops but I keep my face nuetral and my energy calm so that I can support her through the experience. It must feel awful. Her screams calm down into little mewling kitten cries as I pick her up and comfort her and within minutes she is back to normal - well - normal for her.

After our town trip Penny told me that she had arranged for some other moms to come over and help out until Brent came home. A wonderfully kind lady named Anna came here, cleaned some and chatted with me, and as she left Colleen Mucha arrived and started folding laundry and baking muffins. I don't have my birth mom around anymore but I sure felt like I had one today - 3 actually! I'm blessed to be living in such a supportive and wonderful community. We ate a dinner prepared by a lady named Katy that I have yet to meet- she made a delicious pot roast with potatoes,veggies and salad - so wonderful. Thank you Katy.

I'm exhausted and the baby is asleep. It's time for me to hit the hay. I promise that one of these days I'll spend more time writing an interesting and lengthy description of Anaya's current state of being. Lots of love to all of you who are sending your love and prayers to our special baby Anaya. Goodnight. P.S - See you again around 3am.