This photo was taken when Anaya was 7 weeks old - just as she was beginning to smile. She had some beautiful baby smiles. I think that one of the things her illness has changed the most is her ability to smile. It has been days since she last smiled for me. My daughter Solara has better luck getting Anaya to smile than I do. I'll know when she's getting better by how often she smiles.
It's 1 am and Anaya and I are up because she's having gas pains. I think the best thing about a feeding tube is that you can hook up a syringe to the end of it and actually pull air out of the stomach to help relieve gas. I just pulled out 2 ounces of air from her belly. I think the probiotics make her a bit gassy. It's no fun having a belly ache. Note to self - less probiotics at bedtime!
Other than the gas Anaya is doing very well today. She has an appointment with Laurie Knox for some cranial sacral / somatic release therapy today. We will be in Nelson most of the day as Solara needs to have a tooth fixed afterwards and we also need groceries. Full town days can be brutal if Anaya isn't feeling well. I really hope today is a good day.
Brent starts work at Hellman tomorrow. I'm frightened about being here alone with the baby. Mostly I worry about getting overwhelmed with the scope of all the things I have to do. Take care of baby, make something to eat, eat it, pump, feed baby, walk dogs, do laundry, tidy,take care of baby, feed baby, pump, make something for lunch- it goes on. This list becomes difficult because she needs to be held almost all the time or she starts screaming and ends up choking and gasping for air. I cant just put her in the crib and walk away to work on household chores. Hell - I have to take her to the bathroom with me when I'm alone here. She just lays on a clean towel on the floor.
My dad says he's coming to visit next week. I'm glad. I'm so grateful for the support he's given Anaya and I this past month. Perhaps he'll be able to hold Anaya while I toodle around. I'm having a meeting with a Nurse named Colleen today. I think she's only available part time for a shift or two per week. I never thought that we would have such a hard time finding a full time nurse for this position. In my opinion it's a good job. Caring for Anaya involves a lot of cuddling and playing. She also needs her massage and physio exercises every day but it's no hardship. I'm relatively easy to get along with as long as you enjoy people with strong personalities - lol :) Apparently I intimidate some people, I've never understood why. I'm one of the most sensitive people I know. Anaya does cry a lot when getting to know new people but I think that with time she would come around and love her nurse, too.
Well, Anaya has gone back to sleep and it's time for us to go back to bed. Remember that nothing is impossible. Free yourself to dream big and make it happen. Pray that Anaya gets a nurse immediately so that I have some help this week!
As a mom of a little girl the same age as Anaya my heart goes out to you!! My daughter doesnt have any health issues, but when both my kids were infants I was terrified of something happening to them when I left them alone, used to put them in a basinet on wheels and drag them around the house with me as I did my chores, with the second one I got a basinet with a vibrating pad it worked wonders! Just a thought as I sit here wanting to help but with little ones of my own I am useless as help for you.
ReplyDeleteTake care and keep positive
Love you Both!!
ReplyDeleteLove Kyle