The Visit

Last night before I lay down to sleep I prayed that I would be allowed to see Anaya in a dream.  To know that she was alright.  To my surprise it actually happened.

There was a patting on my shoulder.  The patting turned into a tugging on the sleeve of my night shirt.
  Mama, Mama wake up! My eyes flew open and to my incredible shock she stood there beside the bed. Her golden hair hung in wavy curls around her chubby cheeks.  She wore a simple white dress.  She was smiling.

(Not Anaya - but similar in looks)

"You're talking!" I exclaimed.  "You're alive! It's a miracle!"  I reached down a picked her up.  She weighed nothing and lifted into my arms like a feather.  She put her arms around me in the sweetest embrace I've ever felt.  I burst into tears.  Sobbing uncontrollably I blabbered on about how it must have been some kind of nightmare and that we had to tell everyone that she was alive and that God had worked a miracle and that she had been healed.  Suddenly I felt her warm hands on my cheeks, she lifted my face so that I was looking into her eyes.

You will see... I heard her voice whisper, although I did not see her lips move.  I was entranced looking into her beautiful hazel eyes.  They began to change color and I could see the sky, the clouds, the sun, the stars, all flying across her eyes like a time lapse.  The picture settled and I could see the reflection of a meadow and a rainbow. Now close your eyes.

I closed my eyes and felt a sense of whirling vertigo.  For a moment I opened my eyes and I could see a vibrant swirling rainbow all around that was whooshing by at an incredible, impossible speed.  I felt Anaya's presence and her fingers closed my eyes again. Don't do that! She said tartly.  I was just so blown away by everything that I couldn't help but chuckle.  My daughter, my silent little love, had just given me attitude.  The whirling sensation stopped.  I felt her little hand grasp mine and lead me forward.  You can open them now.

We were in the meadow with the rainbow.  My feet were warm on the soft green grass.  Wildflowers grew everywhere.  There were children running and playing with each other.  Children of all nationalities and colors.  "Is this Heaven?" I asked, looking down at her.

She raised her eyebrows. Mama, don't be silly.  This isn't Heaven.  You can't go to heaven yet. This is where the souls go when they are waiting to be born.


"You mean all of these children haven't been born yet?" I whispered in wonder.

They are waiting for their turn. She replied.  It occurred to me that although I could hear her voice I still hadn't once seen her mouth move.  She tugged on my hand and turned me around.

We were now standing at a large window looking down a white corridor with blue and grey tiled flooring.  Along the walls there were chairs and in the chairs there were women of all nationalities and colors.  All appeared to be in different stages of pregnancy.  They sat as though in a doctors office.  Some reading magazines, some on cell phones, some knitting, others sleeping.

These are their mothers.  They don't know that their babies have what I had.  Tears streamed down her perfect cheeks and her fat little lips trembled.  My heart ached.

"We have to tell them!" I reached out and touched the glass.  It wouldn't move.  I pounded on it.  I yelled and screamed hoping they would hear me.  Not a one of them indicated that they noticed me at all.  I cried in my frustration and sank to the floor.

They can't hear you mama.


"We have to tell them, we have to." I sobbed.  She nodded.  Her curls bounced. She was so beautiful through my tears that my breath caught in my throat.  Once again I was mesmerized by her eyes. I could see myself standing in front of a group of people, behind me was a banner that said "Anaya's Tour to Save Babies"  I blinked.

"You're not really here, are you?" I asked, suddenly realizing the enormity of this whole situation.

We are here, I am here, you are here.  We are in the space between spaces, in the place where there is no time.  I tried to comprehend that and decided to store it away for further thought.

"Can I stay here with you?" I asked.  She looked at me with her big hazel eyes and shook her head.  My heart sank and I felt desolation and despair.  For the second time she lifted my face with her chubby little hands and I looked into her eyes.  My tears obscured my vision.  "But I need you" I cried, realizing as soon as I spoke it how selfish I was.

Mama, mama.  I am with you right now.  I am always going to be with you.  You have to find the other mamas.  You have to tell them.  You have to keep going.  I will help you. When you need me, pray to speak to me in your dreams.  Now close your eyes.


Again came the whirling sensation and the nauseating vertigo.  I couldn't feel my body, only an incredible feeling of vastness.  I had a feeling that if I opened my eyes I would see nothing and I wouldn't exist.  I felt a sense of alarm coming from Anaya and I resisted the urge.

Suddenly I needed to pee. (I know, but it's true).  I opened my eyes.  I was back in bed.  I heard an echo of a whisper.

Believe...believe...believe...



It was no ordinary dream.


Anaya showed me what I have to do.  I have to save those babies.  I have to tell the mama's.  I have to get the word out.  I have to keep going.


I searched for pictures online to show you kind of what Anaya looked like in my dream.  She did not have wings, nor a halo...but definitely glowed with ethereal beauty.  These are kinda similar...