Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Visit

Last night before I lay down to sleep I prayed that I would be allowed to see Anaya in a dream.  To know that she was alright.  To my surprise it actually happened.

There was a patting on my shoulder.  The patting turned into a tugging on the sleeve of my night shirt.
  Mama, Mama wake up! My eyes flew open and to my incredible shock she stood there beside the bed. Her golden hair hung in wavy curls around her chubby cheeks.  She wore a simple white dress.  She was smiling.

(Not Anaya - but similar in looks)
"You're talking!" I exclaimed.  "You're alive! It's a miracle!"  I reached down a picked her up.  She weighed nothing and lifted into my arms like a feather.  She put her arms around me in the sweetest embrace I've ever felt.  I burst into tears.  Sobbing uncontrollably I blabbered on about how it must have been some kind of nightmare and that we had to tell everyone that she was alive and that God had worked a miracle and that she had been healed.  Suddenly I felt her warm hands on my cheeks, she lifted my face so that I was looking into her eyes.

You will see... I heard her voice whisper, although I did not see her lips move.  I was entranced looking into her beautiful hazel eyes.  They began to change color and I could see the sky, the clouds, the sun, the stars, all flying across her eyes like a time lapse.  The picture settled and I could see the reflection of a meadow and a rainbow. Now close your eyes.

I closed my eyes and felt a sense of whirling vertigo.  For a moment I opened my eyes and I could see a vibrant swirling rainbow all around that was whooshing by at an incredible, impossible speed.  I felt Anaya's presence and her fingers closed my eyes again. Don't do that! She said tartly.  I was just so blown away by everything that I couldn't help but chuckle.  My daughter, my silent little love, had just given me attitude.  The whirling sensation stopped.  I felt her little hand grasp mine and lead me forward.  You can open them now.

We were in the meadow with the rainbow.  My feet were warm on the soft green grass.  Wildflowers grew everywhere.  There were children running and playing with each other.  Children of all nationalities and colors.  "Is this Heaven?" I asked, looking down at her.

She raised her eyebrows. Mama, don't be silly.  This isn't Heaven.  You can't go to heaven yet. This is where the souls go when they are waiting to be born.

"You mean all of these children haven't been born yet?" I whispered in wonder.

They are waiting for their turn. She replied.  It occurred to me that although I could hear her voice I still hadn't once seen her mouth move.  She tugged on my hand and turned me around.

We were now standing at a large window looking down a white corridor with blue and grey tiled flooring.  Along the walls there were chairs and in the chairs there were women of all nationalities and colors.  All appeared to be in different stages of pregnancy.  They sat as though in a doctors office.  Some reading magazines, some on cell phones, some knitting, others sleeping.

These are their mothers.  They don't know that their babies have what I had.  Tears streamed down her perfect cheeks and her fat little lips trembled.  My heart ached.

"We have to tell them!" I reached out and touched the glass.  It wouldn't move.  I pounded on it.  I yelled and screamed hoping they would hear me.  Not a one of them indicated that they noticed me at all.  I cried in my frustration and sank to the floor.

They can't hear you mama.

"We have to tell them, we have to." I sobbed.  She nodded.  Her curls bounced. She was so beautiful through my tears that my breath caught in my throat.  Once again I was mesmerized by her eyes. I could see myself standing in front of a group of people, behind me was a banner that said "Anaya's Tour to Save Babies"  I blinked.

"You're not really here, are you?" I asked, suddenly realizing the enormity of this whole situation.

We are here, I am here, you are here.  We are in the space between spaces, in the place where there is no time.  I tried to comprehend that and decided to store it away for further thought.

"Can I stay here with you?" I asked.  She looked at me with her big hazel eyes and shook her head.  My heart sank and I felt desolation and despair.  For the second time she lifted my face with her chubby little hands and I looked into her eyes.  My tears obscured my vision.  "But I need you" I cried, realizing as soon as I spoke it how selfish I was.

Mama, mama.  I am with you right now.  I am always going to be with you.  You have to find the other mamas.  You have to tell them.  You have to keep going.  I will help you. When you need me, pray to speak to me in your dreams.  Now close your eyes.

Again came the whirling sensation and the nauseating vertigo.  I couldn't feel my body, only an incredible feeling of vastness.  I had a feeling that if I opened my eyes I would see nothing and I wouldn't exist.  I felt a sense of alarm coming from Anaya and I resisted the urge.

Suddenly I needed to pee. (I know, but it's true).  I opened my eyes.  I was back in bed.  I heard an echo of a whisper.


It was no ordinary dream.

Anaya showed me what I have to do.  I have to save those babies.  I have to tell the mama's.  I have to get the word out.  I have to keep going.

I searched for pictures online to show you kind of what Anaya looked like in my dream.  She did not have wings, nor a halo...but definitely glowed with ethereal beauty.  These are kinda similar...



  1. Wow Thankyou for sharing , Im so glad you got to see your little girl in your dream . Keep believing that in itself is a powerful message . Hugs to you and your family.

  2. This is beautiful, I hope you find these mama's, I hope you hold onto Anaya, she is such a sweet soul.

  3. wow.... over and over again... wow!!! I believe when we need those we have lost...all we have to do is close our eyes and we feel them around us... we smell their smell.. we feel the gentle touch of their hands... we can hold them close, talk quietly, show love... feel love... and when we wake, we know we have had the most amazing experience. How beautiful that your baby has shown you what your purpose is... what you have been called to this Earth for... together, with Anaya... you will help all those mammas who are about to walk down the path you have just walked... Some people take a lifetime to figure out what their reason for being is...God gave you Anaya....

  4. I wrote to Ellen for you! I hope she'll realize how special this opportunity would be for her to have such a strong and courageous woman, filled with so much knowledge on her show. It would be the best time for you to speak freely and educate the public on this horrible disease! I'm praying to our Lord, my momma, and baby Anaya, that Ellen will read someone's email/tweet...etc. Stay strong Camara...God has big & wonderful plans for you. <3

  5. Beautiful story. I beliEVE there are miracles and wonders beyond what we can actually see. Good luck in finding those mamas and helping them!

  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

  7. Wow, that is an amazing dream. I'm sure Anaya is as beauitful as the angels in the pictures if not more. It' s amazing how the lord hears our prayers and mahical things like this happen. Sending hugs your way.

  8. That was so beautiful <3 I'm so glad you got to see your baby girl again. I think you are such an incredible person. You and your baby have taught me so much in the last 3 days. Thank you <3 I will plant something for Anaya this weekend, I don't know if it will be a baby tree or some flowers, but it will be something beautiful. Love <3

  9. Your dream made me cry! I am sooooooo happy to know she came to see you! what a powerful message!

  10. I am so glad you got to see your beautiful baby girl again. You and Anaya have taught me so much in the last 3 days. You are the bravest momma in the world. Thank you <3 I am going to plant either a baby tree or some flowers for Anaya this weekend. I'm not sure which but it will be beautiful. love <3

  11. How incredibly beautiful. I'm so glad your baby girl was able to come to you in a dream and bring some peace to your spirit. I pray you sleep restorative and peaceful sleep tonight. Hugs, love and prayers coming your way from Kentucky. Your story touched my heart because I knew a lady whose grandson died from Krabbes many years ago.

  12. That was so amazing to read Camara. It was beautiful!!! Anaya is telling you something very important... I pray you can spread the word!

  13. Wow, that's very powerful!!! Thanks for sharing with us. Hugs to you and your family!

  14. Extremely powerful dream. I believe this was Anaya. I had a similar dream(s) when my cousin passed away. The meadow, the clouds, at the corner of the bed, etc.....and your images are very similar to mine. With the exception of the message. Anaya truly wants her cause spread. I ask God how could this have happened to such a beautiful child, the suffering, her pain, your pain. I understand that that was and is Anaya's purpose in this life. Truly amazing and inspiring. Thank you.

  15. Most amazing thing I have ever read! Thank you for sharing your angel with all of us.

  16. What a beautiful dream! I bet she looked absolutely stunning.. what a precious angel you have watching over you.

  17. Thank you for sharing this and sharing your angel with all of us!

  18. So powerful! I'm so glad you got to see your little angel again, she will lead the way for you on your mission.

  19. Beautiful Camara! You can do this! So many people belive in you and I know you believe in your mission. Make it so! <3

  20. I am in awe at how descriptive you were able to remember such a dream. To recall it so vividly is a gift from God. A message heaven sent through your Daughter, your Angel. What a gift!!! How do we save other Mama's and Babies? Is there a specific test we need to be aware of and spread the news on? I want to have a second child. I am fortunate that my 18 month old Son is in perfect health... But what about my next baby? How can I be sure that my next one will get the help he or she may need in time? You said earlier that if Anaya had been screened before this disease was upon her, that she could have been treated... What exactly did you mean by that? I want to know and I want to spread the word! God bless you Cassin-Potts Family. I am thankful that you had such a special child here on earth and forever in your hearts!!!

  21. Dear Camara,
    Anaya and your families journey has completely consumed me over the last couple of days. I came across your story on my "news feed" it was actually moments before her passing.
    I have had so much over whelming emotion over what she went thru and what you and your family have endured. Your strength is rare. You have inspired so many, so deeply. I have not stopped thinking about you since I came into your journey. My heart literally is so tense it has been taking my breath away.
    My 3 children are my life and my baby Layla who now rests and left us almost 3 years ago now is my heart and soul... I feel her periodically... but since Sunday she has been with me constantly. Maybe it's my grief having power over my heart with being so attached and engaged in your story... but I really believe she is here.
    When I heard about your dream this morning and the message she shared with you, I was so over joyed. I do believe you need to continue to share and create awareness. But all in all you need to also remember your health and your beautiful little girl Solara. You do what feels best Camara. For now... heal your heart.
    I know we have never met, but everything happens for a reason and you and your journey has completely touched my heart and my whole being. I am here to help and support you!!
    Thank you for being such a rare woman Camara!
    Sending my love..
    Kelly M
    Sherwood Park, Alberta

  22. This comment has been removed by the author.

  23. tears run down my cheeks as i read this. So touching and heart felt. Camara I give you mad props for being so strong. This was such a long journey for you and your family. Your a GREAT writer. THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR SHARING LIL ANAYA WITH US. Solara should be proud to have had such a beautiful baby sister. Anaya is here with u, with us to guide you on this long journey. This was oh so POWERFUL! sending lots of hugs and kisses to u, Brent and Solara and the puppy :)

  24. That was beautiful Camara. After my beloved Grandad died, we met a few times in my dreams to Ballroom dance. It was one of his and Nana's favorite hobbies. I felt like it was our way to really reconnect, and for him to tell me everything was ok. I believe that it is still an important calling for you to continue spreading Anaya's message. Follow your heart, I don't think it has ever steered you wrong. Much love to you, Brent and Solara. Sarah, Richard and Nathaniel xxxx

  25. wow!!! i have no words for this................just wow!!!!

  26. Amazing story Camara, And very expected. It's awesome for you to now know your purpose and you know you have your Angel to help guide you along the way. Always trust that first instinct because it's right! And I believe it WAS her with no doubt. I too have been visited and that's the beauty! They CAN still talk to you and they are still with us! Like I said... It's not goodbye. It's till we meet again, and God had a greater purpose for Anaya, and maybe even a greater purpose for you, because of your strength... Whatever the plan may be, you're sure to do great! Just always believe and the rest of it will fall into place. Truly special, and such an amazing connection. God Bless <3

  27. What a beautiful beautiful dream. I cried the entire time I read it; because I know how special it was for you and also because I BELIEVE it was completely real. Our spirit is an eternal being and I am so pleased that God blessed you with that gorgeous dream. I'm sure Anaya will continue to stick close to her Mama who loved her so so much. Thank you so much for sharing Camara. Contininous love and light to all of you.

  28. You must be so overjoyed seeing Anaya again in spirit. I feel so happy for you that you got to see her at peace and that she gave you the direction that she wants you to move forward towards. I really hope this brought you comfort at this difficult time. xoxo

  29. Simply AMAZING...You knew this to be your purpose she just made it even clearer for you. The connection between the two of you is like no other. She WILL always be with you. Thank you for sharing. <3
    With LOVE
    Alexandra Irizarry

  30. Incredible. You know what you need to do :) Anaya has shown you the way. xo

  31. Anaya started an important mission and message with her time here with you...now that she's in a safe place, happy and free from her illness...the mission has been handed over to you Camara. You have so many supporters here, and I for one will stand with you on this journey, on this conquest to make this message be known and heard. I'm eternally thankful that you had that dream. Sweet Anaya...she's forever with you.

  32. Wow! That's awesome! I believe you. I also have had dreams like that with friends and family who have passed away. Sometimes, it's because they have wanted me to tell a loved one something, and I don't always tell them, because I feel that they aren't ready yet.

    I have a 4 year old, 2 year old little girl, and I just found out that I am expecting again! Our 3rd little blessing! When I cuddle my little girl every night before she goes to sleep, I pray for her, and I pray for you and your family.

    I am glad that she is helping you to find your way, and to find peace.

  33. you & your daughter are amazing you are ment for bigger things then you ever could imagine before god bless you & that sweet baby girl whose "somewhere over the rainbow" Anaya<3<3

  34. Camara, that is amazing and wonderful. I'm so glad that Anaya visited you. You filled her life with love and joy. You are an awesom mommy.

  35. Ever since I started following your journey with Anaya I could see the little girl you just described, every time I saw a picture of her I knew and could see how happy her little soul was and how loved and free.
    I don;t have the right words to describe exactly what I see or mean but her Aura or soul just shone so brilliantly, and she said so much without saying a thing. Even now her voice is so loud and I truly believe the world has been waiting for her. There seems to be a new sense of awareness and love, and acceptance that radiated from Anaya, almost ethereal , like the most beautiful Angel in Heaven pausing for a moment on earth to open our eyes and to open our hearts and show us what we truly have here on earth with our own children and families.
    Words do not do justice to the thoughts and images swirling in my mind but I feel so proud to be a momma and so blessed to have been able to follow your journey as a family.
    Thank you Camara, Brent, Solara and Anaya for opening your lives and hearts to all of us.
    It has made my journey just a little bit easier :)
    Heather B

  36. Your posts often take my breath away. I literally have a hard time breathing through the grief. It still amazes me how much your family has touched my life.

  37. You are correct. This was no ordinary dream! This was a gift from God to comfort you and to allow you to speak with Anaya on a spiritual level.

    I know this for a fact because I had a similar dream following the death of my baby daughter Ava Faith five months ago. This dream was very vividly different from other dreams I've experienced, and I remembered it in great detail upon waking. My girl also wore a white gown, and as I held her at 9 lbs., 3 ounces, and as she gradually grew into a toddler, a child, a preteen and eventually a teen-aged woman, her white gown grew with her. She smiled radiantly the entire time. She told me not to cry so much, because she was ok. She told me that if I talked to God, he'd tell her things for me, and she could tell him things to tell me and we could always communicate that way.

    This is not what you or I hoped for, but this is the relationship we get to have with these special daughters of ours. Although I am so sad our beautiful physical relationship with our girls has ended, I am so thankful that a spiritual relationship remains and that we have the hope of a restored family in heaven.

    Thank you for sharing your daughter with us. Tonight I closed my eyes and imagined kissing Anaya's sweet cheeks, and I passed her beautiful name on to my heavenly daughter. Maybe they will meet somewhere over the rainbow.

    As we all scream a collective "Why?", I pray for God's warm blanket of comfort and peace -- which truly does surpass all understanding -- to be wrapped around you and yours tonight and for the long road ahead.

    ♥ Laura

  38. wow that was amazing !!!!
    the other morning i woke up knowing i had a dream about anaya ..i am so not a god beleaver or anything like that at all .i couldnt put it past me all day long i couldnt get it out of my head and then today my daughter asked me about baby anaya i show her pics all the time of her and i told her what had ahppened just so you know my daughter is three and she was so sad about what happened she said mama i saw the rainbow in the snow and said see there she is she oh ok she is ok then but still i just cant get it all out of my head ok thats enough thats all i got just had to share what happened...please take care

  39. What a beautiful dream, Thank you for sharing this.


Please feel free to comment and send your LOVE!