with Anaya in Nelson.
Anaya is very sick still. Doc changed to a new antibiotic today.
Her mucous is thick and copious, her breathing is strained. She needs
her mama and I'm not there and it's killing me. One more day and I'll
be home... Hold on baby, hold on...
So scared, so worried. Not that she will die, but that I won't be
there to hold her when she dies. This experience is my worst
nightmare...
I had to take my panic attack pill twice today. I'm trying to have fun
and connect with Solara but I'm so on edge.
I'm trying to let the fear go.
Going to bed. Goodnight.
I pray that God will give you strength to get threw this and give you peace! I pray Gods angels hold your baby close tonight and put a wall of gardening angels around her that the angels would sing to her all threw the night ! I pray this sickness would leave her body ! Mostly I pray that this lil girl be in no pain or discomfort!
ReplyDeleteOnly you as a mother knows what your baby needs. If your soul is telling you that you need to be with her I pray you will be able to as soon as possible. Time is so precious and I pray to God you will have plenty more with her!
If it is her Time Im sure she will Wait for you. But Im sure it is not. Im sure She will Rally like in times past
ReplyDeleteGod bless you all Camara. My prayers are with you, Anaya, Solara and Brent tonight. Be strong Anaya. Much love, Sarah, Richard and Nathaniel xxx
ReplyDeleteOh Camara, how my heart breaks for you. I know you want to be there with Anaya. And I'm sure if you decided you needed to go home early, that everyone would understand. You're doing the best you can, trying to balance the needs of your two beauties. I'm sure Solara will realize, the older she gets, just how selfless and amazing you are and will be proud of everything you did for her little sister to make her life with us a happy and safe one.
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't think Anaya will allow herself to fly to her next life without being in your arms when it happens. She knows where her home is.
Hang in there. Sending prayers and love. XO
Wishing the best for Anaya but saddened that you will be deserting Solara from her promised one on one time. You have an incredible love for Anaya, don’t forget to share that with Solara as she seems to be getting the short end of the stick time and time again.
ReplyDeletecamara, you are so loved. hang in there. you'll be home to her soon. she will wait. i cant imagine your anxiety. i had to get an ativan prescription just for a stupid plane ride. if i could trade anything in the world for you to have your baby back...i would. i ask the universe everyday to give her back to you. i struggle with how unfair it is. i value my own babies more because of anaya's journey. i want to run around my house and scream for you. i think i might. stay strong.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous with the rude comments about her deserting Solara again and not loving her as much! SHUT UP Please :). Are you there witnessing this? Does Solara seem like a little girl unloved in the videos and photos posted? Oh and are you that much of a coward you can't post your name? Just get off this blog if you can't have the positive energy this whole family needs during Anayas' too short LIFE! Kerrieann from Kimberley!
ReplyDelete