Tuesday April 20, 2010

The trip to Halcyon was both incredible and exhausting. Margaret Ann worked on Anaya's spinal alignment and meridian points for hours. It's amazing to watch. She puts her fingers on Anaya's little bones and applies the faintest touch and waits for the bone, or vertebra, to move back into alignment. When it does you can feel a little pop resound through her chest cavity (when a rib was out of place) and she'll breathe a deep sigh of relief. This time Anaya slept through most of the session. The nature of the work does not require her to be awake.

After her long bodywork session we took Anaya into the natural lithium hotspring pool. Margaret Ann designed it to be chemical free - with continual spring water flow through. It was pretty hot so I just dunked her body in a few times and let her cool down between dunks. She really seemed to like it. When we got out we sat in the sun to dry off. It was gorgeous out. The way the sun beats off the cliff it makes it warm enough to sunbathe in April. I had to make sure the baby didn't burn.

Anaya liked the sun on her skin. She liked watching the reflection of the water on the wall as the sunlight danced patterns in her visual field. It was a beautiful moment.

Time passed quickly and before I knew it we were back in the Van driving home. It seemed to take forever and when we arrived it was bedtime. The next morning Anaya seemed pretty bright eyed and calm. We love mornings lately. Mornings are the time when Anaya is most aware, most happy, and her eyes seem to smile at us.

This morning my elder daughter Solara said "I wish Anaya would smile at me like she used to..." it wrenched my heart. I told Solara that there's a chance Anaya might have a short life. She nodded as though she knew this already and shed a little tear. She's a pretty resilient little girl though, and after a moment she moved on to asking if she could have friends over after school. I'm glad that she is able to maintain normalcy.

I've been quite sad the last few days as it seems as though Anaya hasn't had any major healing breakthroughs lately. I miss her the way she used to be - but I know that the past is the past and I need to be here in the present. She's still with us. She still loves to cuddle and snuggle her mama. I'm here to give her all the love and comfort that I can.

Other mama's are still helping to feed our little Angel and I just want to tell you how much we love you Nursing Mama's! Thank you for your continuous support. Anaya needs you too. My milk supply hovers between 6 - 8 oz a day. I can't seem to produce more with the pump and I've been getting headaches from taking drugs to increase my supply. I'm going to see Mark Trione to see if he can make my headache go away. He does massage and cranial sacral work and lives nearby in Harrop. I highly recommend him. I always feel less stressed after seeing him.

Nurse Joanne started work yesterday and it sure is nice having help! Anaya is slowly getting more used to her and I hope that one day she will rest comfortably in her arms. It is beautiful outside. I wish I could put this little peach down and go fix up some flower beds but it will have to wait for another day.