Written by Brent Potts
This new life I have made still seems like a dream to me. I often awake and wonder where I am. I soon remember my present reality, the past is now like a glimpse through a looking glass at a different world.
Today my fathers day started with Anaya telling me she was wet and needed a new diaper. It's amazing she can communicate so well and still be fully asleep.
Camara and i are trying to be good friends so when she needed a place to stay while her house was being ozonated this weekend, I offered my humble accommodations. I don't have much space so it was a little awkward.
This morning we all got up and went to Baker street grill for a fantastic brunch filling us all to the brim. We went back to my house, and I put Anaya down for a nap. As I lay with her I talk and I tell her about my new dreams and how in some strange way I have sabotaged my chances at love. I am so thankful Anaya will not ever be challenged by the negative imprints i was taught without knowing from my childhood.
When I look at my childhood I remember bits and pieces of good mixed up with the broken. A lot of it was tough So in some way I must feel like I don't deserve happiness because I seem to sabotage my relationships just when I seem to have it all. It is a shame this time mostly for the children involved.
Anaya seems to have this quiet wisdom to her for she is always listening for everything the world has to offer. I hope to learn more from her every day and I hope that I can properly guide or go with her where she wishes to go. I always forgot that where Solara was involved and I wish I had remembered.
I am sorry Solara .
After a good nap we return to Camara's home with all the baby stuff. I thought Anaya's first stay at my house was successful. I am exited to try again next week.
One of the most important lessons i have relearned recently is to not to take things personally. I have noticed it makes a remarkable difference when applied to almost any situation.
To every father out there enjoy this celebratory day as if it was your last I certainly did! thank you Anaya, Camara and Buddha for the best fathers day ever!
Location:Hall Mines Rd,Nelson,Canada
Happy Father's Day Brent! I'm glad you & Anaya shared some special moments. And don't be so hard on yourself - as I'm sure you know, everything happens for a reason and you DO deserve happiness. Keep being a wonderful Daddy to the two special little girls in your life! <3
ReplyDeleteHappy Father's Day Brent!!!! You deserved to have an absolutely wonderful day. I think you are a great Dad. Full of much love, wisdom, grace and insight. It is a great gift to look at yourself from within and see what you could improve on, to better yourself, your relationships and your parenting ... but I hope you also look at all the wonderful things you do for the ones you love. I have seen many with my own eyes. I think you are a really good person and a great father. Cheers to you Brent,
ReplyDeleteLisa.
Isn't it amazing, the lessons you learn from your children, just when you think that you should be one teaching them. God bless the innocence of the young, I wish you a happy fathers day. Remember, any man can can be a father, it takes a special man to be a dad. So soak up the good times, dad.
ReplyDeleteBrent, I am so happy that you were able to spend time with your beautiful girls!
ReplyDeleteI hope you had a good Father's Day. Don't beat yourself up too much. We all struggle with our own demons. And we mess up sometimes. Like you, I was my worst enemy for years. You just have to be as nice to yourself as you are to others. I wish you peace. And I am so sorry about the struggles your family is going through. It must make everything so much more difficult. Anaya is blessed to have two parents that love her so much and will do whatever it takes to make her life as full as it can be. You are in my thoughts and prayers daily.
ReplyDeleteRemember that God chose you Brent to be Anaya's Father. He had more faith in you than you could ever have in anyone. He knew you where the right person to take care of her and show her love. Before we could ever believe in ourselves, God believed in us.
ReplyDeleteI just got back from Kelowna and as I past the road signs to Nelson I thought of you Brent. I agree with everything everyone else said here!! I was there for your childhood and believe me, I wish I had done more when my own brother was not treating you the way a baby, toddler and little boy should be treated. None of it should have fallen on your shoulders...you deserved much better. So yes, don't beat yourself up. You are always going to strive to be a better person, just as we all do because we all make mistakes...but your love for your daughter shines through any dark clouds and that's what means the most right now. I always saw you as one of the most gentle spirited, caring and loving people I have ever known...I still do and I have no doubt you are a wonderful dad. Be good to yourself...and begin to carve out a new life. It'll be ok...I spent the last year doing the very same thing. I love you Brent...always!
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