Thursday, March 24, 2011
March 24 - KL Hospital
We took Anaya into emergency this morning because she's had a fever for two days that does not go away with fever reducing meds like Tylenol. They got her in right away and we got quick access to suction and Oxygen. After a chest x-ray and a lot of needles we found out that Anaya has a bacterial infection of some kind. She is also dehydrated from sweating so much. Our Dr. suggested we bring Anaya home, give her antibiotics and do our best to keep her comfortable.
We are back to a Breastmilk only diet while she's sick because she doesn't seem to be digesting food well. I have several offers of breastmilk that I'm trying to coordinate shipping for but I'm so swamped with a sick baby, and exhaustion. I could really use some help on this one. Anyone want to take over the milk coordination? I could forward you all the e-mails and the spreadsheet I put together.
I've been really emotional the past few days. Today I don't have the words to express my sense of despair and grief. I just want to help my baby. I wish I could do something to save my baby. I had a dream last night that a Dr. told me not to give up on her. He told me that some cases just don't fit statistics and that I should not believe that Anaya will die soon - but instead allow the possibility that she might live on for an unknowable amount of time.
If only this dream were a message from a higher power (God if you like). If only it were true. Please let it be true. I just want my little love to stay in our lives, and not suffer. She's our earth-bound angel. Her beauty melts the heart of everyone who meets her. How could a little girl, so soft and vibrant, shining with the light of her soul - ever become cold and still?
We are building a Facebook page especially for Anaya. It is called "The Anaya Initiative" and it is to build awareness, help find milk and fundraise for Anaya. There are also "Care drives" on the site - where fans can send a post-card to Anaya's Super Sister Solara, or donate a children's book to Anaya's Library of Hope. Please share our page and help us shower love on our little angel.