Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Happy Breaths

Upon awaking the first thing I notice is that I cannot hear her breathing.  The usual gurgle of her inhalations is not present.  Concerned, I pull the covers back from her sleeping angelic face and watch her chest.  It's moving in a regular rhythm.  Up, down, up down.  Putting my ear closer to her face I listen...

Her breath, peaceful and quiet, draws in.  My ear is so close to her nose that I can feel the air moving near my ear.  She exhales and it's so clear, so perfect. So normal as to be abnormal.  I smile to myself and the happiness begins to radiate through my body like anticipation on Christmas morning.  It starts in my smile, spreads into my jaw, my forehead, down the back of my neck, shooting down my spine.  I feel like I could jump up and down shouting "I won! I won!" but of course, I didn't do anything.  Anaya's the one winning! She continues to defy the odds, even getting healthier than she was before.  I swear she also has a new level of alertness.  She is learning more and more and growing into a little toddler.

Anaya rests on, sound asleep.  I put my finger in her hand and she squeezes it.  This is a new thing, this holding of things with her hands.  She just started doing it a few weeks ago.  For more than a year her hands were limp and pretty much devoid of "grip".  Now she will hold just about anything you put in her hand if she likes the feel of it.  She holds her Gnaw Gnaw, she holds her Bambo doll, she holds the edge of her blankie, she holds my shirt collar, holds the edge of the bassinett.  Sometimes I catch her holding her oxygen tubing or her feeding tube.  Lets just hope she doesn't start yanking on them and hurting herself!

It's only six am, but I'm wide awake.  Anaya's quiet breathing woke me.  The happiness and excitement I felt about her breathing would not allow me to go back to sleep.  I slipped from the bed and headed downstairs with the intention to blog.  Angel greeted me from behind the puppy gate in the kitchen.  Her fluffy golden ears and brown eyes accentuated her puppy smile.  She wagged her little tail and barked a little Good morning! Love me! Love me! I need to go outside!  Play with me! So I picked her up and took her outside.  As soon as we hit the grass, she peed.  I praised her.  We walked around the house to where Anguard is parked.  Passing the saw table and scraps of wood strewn near it, we approach the RV.  I opened the door and stepped inside.  Angel sat at the bottom of the step stool we use for steps, looked at me and whined.  I stepped down.
"This is what you do," I said. "this one and then this one and then this one."  I tapped each step in sequence.  She seeemed to catch on really quick and got up the steps on her first attempt.

This is looking so much better.  I thought, looking around.  That laminate will be so much cleaner than having carpet.  I don't much care for pink carpet anyways.  I walk down the hall towards the bedroom. Brent was up until I don't know what time working on the bed patform.  It looks good. Small pine rails criss cross the room in a frame, leaving room for storage beneath the bed.  The section for the queen mattress is butted up against the section for Anaya's mattress, making one large bed, with her mattress being half as long, which leaves room to stand near the opening of the room, where the closet is.

Smiling to myself, Angel and I head back towards the door.  She finds a ball of tape remnant on the floor and charges at it, gripping it between her teeth and shaking her head with puppy vigor.  I laugh out loud when the tape sticks to her face and the surprised look on her face is just priceless.  I help her remove it and we head back to the house.

Today is another big day. At eight thirty Anguard is going into the shop to have mechanical repairs.  Toyota is sponsoring much of the labour costs, as is Hywood Truck.  I hope that the repair goes quickly so that we can finish the bed platform and get moved in.  The RV is like a Mobile Anaya Care Unit. It's the size of a very small one bedroom apartment. There is a milk deep freeze behind the passenger seat, the oxygen machine straps to the wall beside it.  Brent plans on building stabilization shelves right near the bed for the suction and nebulizer.  Anguard even has an Anaya sized bathtub.

Entering the house I glance around. Holy cow I need to pack. Everything that is not going into Anguard will either be sold in a yard sale or put in storage.  With all the things going on this past month I have not been able to keep the house tidy.  It's clean...but there is stuff out of place everywhere.  I peek into the bedroom.  Brent and Anaya are still sound asleep.  Quietly I go back to the kitchen and brew a pot of OSO coffee. MMmmm. I love it so much.  It makes my morning even more awesome.

Pouring the first cup I admire it's dark golden flow.  Steam and coffee aroma rise from the cup, tickling my nose and enticing me.  I think I could write a short story just about drinking a cup of OSO lol.  The first sip bites at my senses and snaps me to attention.  Caramel undertones a just roasted nuttiness that sends tingles through my tongue.  I take my OSO over to the couch and start writing.

"Happy Breaths"

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