Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Feb 1 2011

The picture from the last post was taken a few minutes ago as Anaya sat in her chair in the sun. We've had to paint her tongue with gentian violet, an antifungal medicine, because she has thrush real bad right now. I think the antibiotics caused a yeast overgrowth. Poor baby - yucky itchy mouth must be awful.

I've been trying to reach the Specialists office this morning to get a booking to take Anaya to North Carolina but they haven't called me back yet. As soon as I have a date I can find out if any of the trip will be covered by medical. So far we have recieved almost two hundred dollars in donations from our readers towards the trip/move. Anaya's "uncle Grant" has also promised some money towards the trip. We are so appreciative. Thank you so much.

Last night Anaya had the worst seizure activity I've ever seen her have. Her whole body was convulsing and she was very distressed. Add to this that someone left a nasty comment on my post... What an awful evening. I couldn't help but respond to this person, as I was hurt and angry. Whoever it is, I hope they quit reading my blog. They don't deserve to share in this experience with us. I'd like to know who it is, so that I can be certain to keep a distance from them. I'm going to let it go now. None of it is true, or relevant or helpful in any way.

I took Solara to see the Dr. And we got a referral to a child councellor. I hear she's a good lady. I have an appointment for myself tomorrow, to get myself some mental/emotional help too. Everything is so overwhelming right now. It feels like the world is coming apart by the seams. I want to keep it together to be strong for my baby and my family. But I feel stretched so thin, so tired.

I want to thank you, reader, for being here for me, for all of us. I lay bare my soul to you because I need the support and understanding. Know that I read each and every comment of love and support and take it to my heart. I know I'm not alone in this, and I'm thankful for you.


  1. You are not alone... we support you (In my case in the distance)... I hope I can meet that little princess in direct someday, and give you both a rose with strong stem...Just like you 2 are..strong and beautiful.. :)

  2. Don't let that nasty hurtful comment from the earlier post bother you - she/he is not worth it. I agree, if you don't like what's written = don't read it. Thinking of you and both your daughters. I hope you find the way to make it to the specialist. My prayers and thoughts are with you.

  3. It is unfortunate that some pass judgment when they are not "living" your experiences. I have yet to post on this blog, but I wanted you to know that your family has inspired my family to take each day as a blessing. We are forever grateful. With love. Anonymous.

  4. My dear friend, You are doing a wonderful job of taking care of your entire family. I'm so proud of you for taking the initiative to find counselling for Solara and yourself. I can't even imagine what Solara thinks about all this. But she has you and Brent and she is a strong soul. Those that know you and hear your story with empathy know the amazing, loving parents you are. So trust in yourself, be present with those two little loves and smile Camara. You deserve to smile. Know that you are loved and in all our prayers.

  5. So many people are behind you and praying with you Camara. Know that one spineless person doesn't shatter our faith and empathy for you. There is no easy way to walk this path, all you can do is what is best for your family. Sending lots of love and prayers tonight.

  6. Sending you lots of good energy and love! Best wishes for the journey.

  7. Hey Camara... The trolls are horrific on the internet.... Usually they are sad and lonely people who want to inflict their internal pain on others. I'd tell you not to care, but knowing your heart, that isn't an easy thing to do....

    The people who love and care for you and your family are all standing by you in spirit. As always, thank you for your honesty and truthfulness.

    Love Kris

  8. unfortunately the world is full of heartless people who don't know when not to say things.

    Keep strength in all of the love and support from the positive people that surround you. And it's ok to feel sad and weak at times. You need to be hugged too and to let your emotions out no matter how raw and hard they are.

    I send prayers you way often. Bless you and your beautiful children

  9. You are not alone Camara. Never alone. Anaya has so many people following her story and thinking/praying for her everyday.
    Let the negative comment go...there are always evil people out there who want to put someone down because they are doing something extraordinary. YOU are doing something so very extraordinary! You are being the most incredible mother to a beautiful baby soul who loves you and needs you to help her through this life...not matter how short it is.
    Everytime I read your blog I am inspired by your courage...and I hug my little boy a little tighter too. Just know that you are NOT ALONE, we are all here with you in spirit.


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