The last post was not intended to raise such negative emotion. I should have relayed a more positive story. I have many more positive experiences than negative ones :)
This weekend has been wonderful and tiring. Anaya's grandparents visited, Solara had a sleepover, we got some onions and sunflowers planted, we attended Meeri's BBQ in Nelson and Anaya did well through all of it.
I feel a bit anxious about taking Anaya to Calgary for the G- tube surgery. I pray that she'll come through it all with flying colors and come home with me. My fears are the opposite.
My fears try to carry me away from the present into the past and the future. My friend Penny helps keep me grounded in the here and now. She tells me my negative thoughts are just thoughts, and that I am much more than the sum of my thoughts. It helps to vent it out and let it go. Nurse Joanne is also an incredibly grounded presence.
We are focusing on the here and now. Each breath, each cheek to cheek - every special minute - that is where I've been. I apologize for not blogging as often but I promise to share any pearls of wisdom I may find along the way :)