Thursday, August 11, 2011

Love Heals

Brent, Anaya, Camara
Throughout the past weeks...Brent has been so incredibly helpful.  We have both learned many thing about ourselves separately.  I have looked deep inside myself at my hurts, and he has looked at his.  Although we live in different houses we have decided to open ourselves to loving each other again and starting over.  Our whole family is receiving counselling individually, and as a group.  We are pulling together through this hard time and we are open to the joy and love that Anaya has brought into our lives by being born to us.

Solara is overjoyed to know that we love her just as much as we love Anaya and always have.  We are considering taking family time out from life...but we'll see how things go.  Anaya has been so sick these past few days that each moment is even more precious.

She has severe pneumonia and is now on very strong antibiotics and morphine.  The morphine is to help keep her comfortable.  There was nothing they could do to help us at the Hospital.  After the chest x-ray showed bi lobe pneumonia, there was a rumour that it looked like TB and then they tested for TB and put us in isolation.

The room was stuffy and uncomfortable.  The doctor came in and told us that Anaya most definately did not have tuburculosis and that there was nothing that they could really do for Anaya at the hospital short of putting her on heavier life supports.  Dr. Kalia suggested that my house was "the most well set up palliative home" he'd ever seen, and that the best place for Anaya to be was at home.

We immediately packed up her stuff and I called our nurse.  She encouraged me to stay in the hospital...I explained that we weren't, that the doc said it was best to go to hospice or home.  She disagreed.  I called her supervisor and suggested maybe she should take a few days off.  Then her supervisor called me and advised me that Nurse C will no longer be coming in.  WHAT THE HELL!??  I was told that my next nursing shift will be tuesday the 16th with MoMo.  I can't believe the ineptitude of Resourceability Nursing Agency.

I haven't left Anaya's side all day.   She's been sleeping and healing. Thank god for the people in our lives who are so incredibly helpful.  Thank you to Nurse Anna (friend) for coming over last night, and again tonight to VOLUNTEER her time to help me with Anaya so that I can sleep.  Thank you to Dr. Kalia - who makes house calls to see my precious one.  Thank you to Carla for the food yesterday, Thank you to Pam for the Spaghetti Sauce, Thank you to Kootenay Christian Fellowship and Loreli for helping with the house cleaning, Thank you to Lisa and Ellen and Sharon and Candace and everyone who loves Anaya.

Thank you to those of you who have paid to subscribed to the blog, and those of you who have bought a bumper sticker or donated to help fund our life with our Angel Anaya.  Without your support we'd be much worse off.

Thank you to those who remind me to remember Solara in everything that I do.

Thank you, God, Universe, Great Spirit, for allowing me this life that I may feel, experience, know, love, and create.


  1. Sending love to you, Anaya, Solara and Brent. You are in our prayers always!

  2. Alexandra IrizarryAugust 11, 2011 at 4:18 PM

    Love heals!!! So glad that you and Brent have found each other again through Anaya...She really has taught us so much and will continue to do so! <3 healing hands and prayers for a speedy recovery! xoxo

  3. Your family Brent, Solara, yourself and Anaya are an inspiration to all. Your Inner strength, your perseverance and tenanicity, Your unity and your love is overwhelming. Following your journey has renewed my perspective on life, my parenting and my six little angels. I wish I could in some way help you in your time of need as you have helped me and mine. "Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born"-Anais Nin. Thankyou xxx

  4. ~ simply beautiful!~sharon J

  5. You two grown ups look so good together... so glad you two decided to be side by side again during this difficult time... I pray that your love for each other can no longer fail but grow {you two dont look in balance while apart}. Wishing you all the best!!!

  6. God bless your family. Wish I was closer. Hug Anaya for me; and Solara! Linda in Tennessee

  7. I have always read your blog but have never commented on it until now. I was going to call you Wednesday but saw that you had driven all night to get back from Vernon and didn't want to disturb you and Baby.

    I miss all of you every day. There isn't a moment that goes by that you guys aren't in my thoughts. I was very moved by this post and just wanted to tell you guys that I love you and miss you dearly. Tell Anaya and Solara to stay strong and that Grant loves them. If there is anything you need, please let me know.

  8. Thanks so much for putting you and your family out there for those of us with open hearts and minds. We have so much to learn from your journey. I saw a quote the other day that reminded me of you (well the you I know from reading your blog).
    "Life is not waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain" Vivian Greene

  9. I'm up late still thinking of your family. I feel like I should say something, or try to offer a hug really. You have been so brave to share all of this with us. I am finding so much to learn from your grace. Thank you.


Please feel free to comment and send your LOVE!