Within me there is turmoil. I strive so hard to provide a loving, caring, nuturing atmosphere for my precious girls. It is true that I do not often write about anything except Anaya, and how I feel in relation to Anaya. That is actually what this blog is for. It is meant to focus on one part of my life. If I was writing about each person in my life it would be so much wider and broader in expanse... I've decided to attempt a wide ranging post today...to see how it feels and weather or no it is in tune with the spirit of Healing Anaya.
I awoke to poking on my side at 3 am. mmm....hmmm....oh Sola...are you ok?
"Mommy my nose is stuffy." She says. I take a deep breath, yawn and swing my feet over the bed. Hugging her to me we stumble to the bathroom where I encourage her to drink a glass of water.
"Are you ok to come back to bed in my room now?" I say to her. The last few nights we decided to try out a new method, having Solara sleep on a foamy mattress at the end of the bed. Solara likes it that Buddha lays near her on the floor.
"My nose is stuffy there too." She says.
"Ok, Sola, maybe it's because I haven't vacuumed this room this week and the dust and dog hair is getting kicked up by the fan that's blowing to keep us cool." I peek over at Anaya. She's sound asleep, hugging her little pink giraffe and making little snuffle sounds through her nose. "Your sister is snuffly too." I say. "I'm not sure Solara but maybe if you take some kids allergy medicine and have a hot steamy shower for a bit it will help." She looks up at me.
"I think so...let's run it for you." So I go start the shower and grab the medicine. She takes it and hops in. I suggest to her that she should sit in the steam and breathe the vapour in through her nose and relax until she feels tired enough to return to bed.
I go lay down next to Anaya. She hums and sighs in her sleep. Her eyes move in REM sleep and I know she is dreaming. She seems sticky in the nose so I take this opportunity to give her a vapour nebulizer. How funny both my girls are stuffy...both of them are using vapour therapy. Anaya sleeps through hers and I notice that her nose is less stuffy afterwards. Moments later Solara is done in the shower.
"Maybe I should sleep in my bed for the rest of the night so that I dont get stuffy again." She says "Ok Solara, I think that sounds like a good idea." So she went and laid down in her soft, cozy colorful bed with her pink and yellow nightlight and fell fast asleep with the warm water bottle that I fill for her.
Moments later I get stuffed up. This is crazy! I'm thinking to myself. How can we all be so stuffed up? I try to deal with it, end up taking allergy meds myself, and go back to bed.
Hours later I awaken to a little gurgle. Anaya my little teacher is awake and her eyes are looking at me. I know that she's blind...but sometimes I swear she's looking right at me. It's the same way she looked at Solara last night before bed. When Solara, of her own accord, chose a book and read it to her sister. The whole thing from beginning to end. I smiled to see it.
Earlier in the evening Solara and I spent time with Anaya in her chair. We took a video of it and I'm trying to post it to youtube to share with you. Anaya had another Spa experience. We gave her a bath and then Solara helped to blow dry her hair. We really think she liked it.
Moments after that we ate dinner, and as we finished up our meal, a special guest arrived. Aspen Switzer came to hang out and sing with us to Anaya. Aspen is a talented local musician who just got back from doing a tour. You can find her music on iTunes and Youtube. Her voice is magical and we are truly blessed to have her as a guest in our house last night. Solara particularly enjoyed it. She loves to sing. We listened to a few, and then joined in on a few as well. Favorites such as "you are my sunshine, this little light of mine", and others were joyfully harmonized and belted out. Aspen sang the little mermaid song with me. It made my day.
Aspen thinks that Solara has a keen ear for music and would benefit from voice lessons. This excited Solara to no end. She's been singing and dancing ever since. Even today...
After a long morning of getting baby settled, feeding everyone and getting out the door, we went first to the Baker Street market and then to Keep the Beat. A music festival in Lakeside park. Brent, April and Nurse C came too and I was glad for their help. We gently laid Anaya down in her little nest we created in the new wagon and positioned her suction and oxygen at her feet. Pulling her along through the throngs of people on Baker street caused me a bit of anxiety. Being near that many people interrupts my ability to feel how Anaya is doing and I have to constantly check on her to make sure she is ok. We quickly made our way through, got to Big Cranium Design and Printing and picked up the bumper stickers for Anaya. They say "I (heart) Anaya. They cost $2 each to print...so we are going to sell them for 5 bucks as part of our fundraising campaign. I think it's going to be great for awareness and spreading love. In 15 minutes I sold out of the 10 I had on hand today. I should have brought more.
Arriving at Lakeside park we spread our blanket in the shade of a large tree to the left of the stage. We arrived just as two women with amazing voices were singing. Anaya's eyes were wide on the pillow and Solara stood entranced watching them. Nurse C set up Anaya's feed and meds while I took a moment to sit down and get grounded. I rubbed Anaya's leg and took some deep breaths. God there are so many babies everywhere. Babies love Anaya. They like to come up and look at her and touch her head. I encourage them, helping them to gently pet her angel hair....
Looking up I notice that Solara has run off the the playground with April, leaving Brent, Nurse C, and I with Anaya on the blanket. Buddha lays beside, his presence a soothing balm to my anxiety.
Focusing on the stage we watch Aspen sing some beautiful energetic songs that she created, holding her guitar and dancing. Her smile radiates accross the meadow filled with families on blankets. Next to us on another blanket is our family doctor. Dr. Kalia and his wife Alice with their children. I love living in Nelson.
For a moment I cuddle up to Anaya on the pillow. Enjoying her sweet calming presence. I am afraid today. I'm not certain of what - the anxiety just swells up from within me and I feel like hiding under a blanket like I did as a child - until sleep claims me. Instead I stroke her soft skin on her arm with the back of my fingers and take another deep breath.
Solara comes running up with April - they say they're going swimming in the lake. We were prepared for this so off they went. Half an hour later they came back...chilled to the bone and wet. I snuggled Solara close to me for a moment, kissing the top of her head. Brent handed me a coconut water to drink to keep hydrated. I love that stuff. Solara really needs to drink more water. She doesn't like the taste of it. I remind her several times a day to drink water but the message never really sinks in. I'm going to make an effort to ensure she gets more hydration from now on.
The event at the park goes on until late tonight with performances from some of the regions best artists... But we left at 5, going back to my house so that I could take the medicine that would lower my stress level. Walking in the door I felt at home, I felt the need to have quiet and just relax.
So here I sit...telling you of our day. Solara is upstairs likely playing by writing menus for her restaurant, Anaya is laying facedown over a pillow on the couch draining her mouth, Brent is making us all dinner and I type away.
Brent is a great cook. Tonight he threw together sliced beef, marinaded in sweet tamarind chili sauce with stir fried vegetables and brown rice with garlic butter and peas. It's time for us to dig in!