Thursday, April 29, 2010

Thursday April 29, 2010

Anaya is doing well today. She had a visit with Grandma and Grandpa Cassin - both of whom took turns holding her. I was quite proud of Grandma Karma - she held Anaya in such a way that she didn't cry for quite a while. It was really nice to see my parents. They live in Alberta and are really busy so they don't get to visit much.

There are so many things that I have become used to as being part of life with Anaya. For instance - she sleeps with her eyes open, I feed her every three hours through her tube, that sound she makes on the in breath is her crying, if she chokes you have to flip her upside down and pat her back and then wipe the mucous out of her mouth with a cloth etc. These are not normal things in most people's lives. This is part of life with Anaya though, and for me they have become routine.

I've certainly gotten some funny looks from people over the past few months when we go out in public. The worst incident was in New Denver on the way back from seeing Margaret Ann at Halcyon. It happened like this:

It was the crack of dawn on a crisp spring morning. The cabin we overnighted in had no power or running water. We dressed, payed our bill, packed up the baby and our belongings and hit the road. I fed the baby as we drove, a mixture of breast milk and the goats milk that had been recommended for Anaya due to her formula intolerance. After an hour of driving we arrived in New Denver and decided we needed some coffee and some breakfast.

We pulled over to a cute little white building which advertised hand painted clothing, cappucino and sandwhiches. The inside was clean and sparsly decorated with womens golf shirts that had handpainted flowers on them. Tacky if you ask me. Something an 80 year old woman would wear on a hot summer day.

The sandwhiches looked inviting and the smell of coffee held my attention. Standing with the baby in my arms I held her carefully to avoid pulling at the dressing that holds her feeding tube in her nose. The middle age woman with medium length brown hair behind the counter asked us what we'd like. I took her to be the owner of the place as you wouldn't often find a woman of her stature making coffee and sandwhiches. I ordered a mocha and a ham and swiss sandwhich. The sandwhich, being pre-made was ready instantly and I sat down at a nearby table to wolf it down.

I shifted Anaya into the crook of my arm and dove into my sandwhich. A few bites in Anaya started gagging and choking, convulsing slightly inwards over her stomach. She began vomiting and I held her towards the edge of my seat, so that the vomit would hit the floor and not my only set of clothes.

The owner lady behind the counter exclaims "Oh my God that is soooo Gross!"
Anaya heaves a few more times and I reply "I'm sorry, she's sick" and I proceed to wipe up her face with a napkin.

I raise my eyes to speak to the woman "Do you have anything that we can clean this up with? How about a cloth?"

She glares at me and says in an ice cold voice "I'll mop it with bleach when you leave."

Part of me wanted to explain to the woman that Anaya is not contagious, that she's having a reaction to the goats milk, that she's got a brain disease, that we're trying everything to save her life and that a little vomit is no big issue. The other part wanted to jump over the counter and throttle her for being such an insensitive snotty bitch. Fortunately my good sense took over (Brent led me away by the arm) and I said nothing except "Have a nice day."


  1. It takes something special to be a mother. This woman clearly does not have any of that within her. Her world is small. Remember that not everyone can have rich and full lives because of their children being in them (or whatever brings them happiness). I feel sorry for people like her; so bitter and inhumane.

  2. Dear Camara,

    You are much stonger and I, I would have told her what was happening, in hopes she might think next time before she spoke...

  3. Your restraint is a good thing. However I might have been tempted to throw an F bomb in the "Have a nice day" retort......


  4. Oh my goodness Camara. What a rotten lady. I am sorry this happened to you. You have so many people in your life who support and love you and your family. I am proud of you for your reaction to that woman.


  5. While I can understand you were very upset with the woman. However try looking at it from her perspective. Here is a woman who brings a baby into her shop and the baby vomits all over the floor. She then says that the baby is sick but fails to explain that she isn't contagious. Additionally the health department would expect said woman to clean it up with bleach and water for sanitary reasons.

    So instead of getting annoyed when people don't understand what is happening, take the moment to explain the situation. You will find that many more people will be understanding.
    Everyone that reads your blogs know what your experiencing but the rest of the world doesn't. For all that woman knew you could have a child with something that would make her, her staff, customers and family/friends ill.

  6. If I had thought she would have cared I would have told her. However, that was not the impression I got. I was simply retelling the story as it happened. I was too overwhelmed to respond. I said nothing except have a nice day. I even offerred to clean it up. It wasn't neccesarily the words that were said but the TONE in which they were said. She did not offer to help AT ALL. No water, no cloth, no nothing except a very clear indication to get the heck out of her shop.

  7. in response to the comment supporting the woman at the shop:

    the child has a feeding tube attached to her and anyone with half a brain would understand the child is ill.
    Even if she was worried about the "contagious nature" of the vomit, she could have simply stated, "it is ok, I will clean it up myself". Perhaps even asking if the baby is ok.......
    she did not have to make the situation seem as horrendous as she did.
    I am also sure that there are times when it gets exhausting to constantly explain the nature of Anaya's health to others. Stating that Camara should "take the time to do so" is out of line. Why would anyone waste an explanation on someone who has shown such a lack of empathy and compassion?
    Get real.


  8. Oh, Camara, how awful. I can not imagine what that experience must have been like. Actually I can imagine in a teeny tiny way because my now 5 year old was born with a lower limb condition and needed to be in a cast for a while as an infant. I once had a woman run up to me at The Cottonwood Falls Market and shout "What did you do to your baby??!!!"
    I couldn't even respond. I just turned away and left.
    Her condition was not critical nor life threatening and I still felt so hurt as to be speechless. I can only just barely imagine what that woman's comments must have made you feel. I'm sorry.

  9. You are a bigger person than I am Camara. I'm pretty sure I would have told her where to go and how to get there. It's very sad that so many people these days lack compassion and have no love in them. What a better place our world would be if people weren't so busy living in fear and could love freely.


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